Ladies and gentlemen, let me show you a revolutionary new toy. It's Pickle me Elmo, the furry enabler for budding alcholics it slurs it's words and staggers. Comes in a zippered pouch with a fifth of scotch. Your budding alcholic will be over the moon or under the coffee table with Pickle me Elmo.

Comes with ten exciting phrases:
Your a piece of shit, have a drink
Your depressed, have a drink
Your worthless, have a drink
Your imperfect, have a drink
Your fucking human, have a drink
Your wife left with the kids, have a drink
Your boss fired you, have a drink
You pissed yourself, have a drink
The police are being unreasonable, have a drink
It's all your parents fault, have a drink
Why am I in jail, wish I had a drink

For even more fun get the Pickle me Elmo Young Driver Edition for xbox 360