Shakespeare's in the trunk
Bacon shot him dead
They were fighting in the bar
And he just lost his head

Alfred's drinking doubles
He shouldn't drive the car
About a dozen times
He charged them at the bar

Charlie's a descriptive guy
He's rollin' on the floor
When they cut him off, he said
"Please sir, can I have some more?"

Drinkin' in the bars 'till they get their fill
Ink stained fingers from a dirty quill
Workin' late at night like Artie Doyle
They all burnt a lot of midnight oil - for you

Leo punched the bouncer
And went raving in the streets
Always talks about the war
I hope he finds some peace

And J.D.'s pretty hammered
He keeps spittin' in my eye
He nearly spilled the drinks
But I was there to catch his rye

Franz is drinking whiskey
He's havin' awful dreams
Had to fumigate his garret
And buy some window screens

Drinkin' in the bars 'till they get their fill
Ink stained fingers from a dirty quill
Some of them were free, some were doin' time
Some liked writing novels, some just liked to rhyhme

Sammy is a poet
Wrapped in an opium dream
When I knocked upon his door
You should have heard him scream

Vladimir's writing porno
They hide his books in school
He's got eloquent descriptions
On how to use your tool

Edgar get's ill when he drinks
His head is always sore
And after every bender
He croaks Nevermore Nevermore

Drinkin' in the bars 'till they get their fill
Ink stained fingers from a dirty quill
Gotta' write it down or else they'd go insane
Doesn't really matter with the writer's brain - brain

Herman's going fishing
He's got a case of beer
And all the fish he catches
Get bigger every year

Byron likes to party
With the artists of his time
He got it on with Mary
Then she wrote Frankenstien

Well, these are just a few
Of my old friends from school
Deserving of another look
You should read their books

Rant:
No, no, don't fucking Google them
Read a nice solid, physical, dogeared, book with musty pages,
Don't watch the stupid TV version, read a book
They don't use electricity, and solar flares won't matter
Read a book!
Oh now, he's got Shakespeare for dummies
Not that kind a' book, a real book
Playboy!
No not Playboy, that's a magazine
Go to your local library, it's free
Coles Notes! What the hell is that?

Hey, pass over that absynth