Think I'll go kill something
Maybe I'll make a musical instrument
out of it's carcass

Armadillo guitars
In Cadillac cars
Out on highway sixteen
Dead bugs on my windshield
Trunk full of roadkill

Tortoise shell picks
can speed up your licks
While Mabel plays her gut bucket
straight from the sticks

Broke a string on my classical thing
with nary a cat insight
So I switched to electric
Stepped on my rat
Hoping to attract
some sort of wayward cat

When the music shop
called me on the phone
Asked me if my nuts
were made of bone

Just then an elephant
smashed in my door
Whacked me with his trunk
Pinned me to the floor

He said to me with hate in his eye
"Don't you tickle the ivories
or I'll snuff out your life"

So if you see me playin'
In some greasy old bar
It's never piano
It's always guitar
Armadillo guitar

Spoken: I could probably take him
In a fair fight
But I don't fight fair
Sneak up behind the motherfucker whack him in the head with a stick
Just like a cute little baby seal

You gotta look out for gorillas too
They can be nasty
See them hangin' out in Victoria Park
Gorillas and crows
Ravens

I was playin' a tune on my old baboon
Thinkin' about some kinda mushroom

It's gettin' warmer
There's armadillos
Global warming
Armadillo

Armadillo guitars
In Cadillac cars
Out on highway sixteen
Dead bugs on my windshield
Trunk full of roadkill

First you kill it
Then you cook it
You know your gonna eat it
May as well play it

Armadillo guitar

I know that elephant's around here somewhere

Come on step on that old hummingbird

Armadillo guitar