Before the golden age
La Volta was the rage
Dirty dancing by the crown
All the strippers had it down
All my drunken friends were on the town

When Handel makes the scene
He always plays it clean
He likes to improvise
With an operatic theme
His best stuff was never, ever written down

Beethoven's on a roll
Drinkin' music in his soul
Playin' when he's deaf
He can feel it in his chest
All my drunken friends are dead and gone

Hayden's wife's a bitch
Destroyed his manuscripts
We were drinkin' lots of booze
When she gave him the news
Caused him lot's of pain 'cause she's so vain

And Bach he had a groove
Made the bass notes move
Playing counterpoint
He always rocked the joint
All my drunken friends are dead and gone

I was puking on the floor
When Chopin waltzed through the door
He stumbled and he fell
He doesn't look so well
Think I'll call up George to take him home

Mozart died alone
With no francs to call his own
They put him 'neath the sod
He was followed by his dog
All my drunken friends are dead and gone

They're all dead and gone
But their tunes live on and on
In every place and every town
I wish they'd stuck around
All my drunken friends are dead and gone